Loneliness is an epidemic. Thirty percent of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day, according to the American Psychiatric Association.
During a South by Southwest panel Tuesday, global pop sensation Kesha joined a group of professionals to bring openness and knowledge to the conversation.
The panel was moderated by Ana Kirova, CEO of Feeld, a modern dating app, and featured mental health educator and therapist Minaa B., and poet and media personality Alok Vaid-Menon.
The panel, titled “Fighting Loneliness in our Digital World,” sought to “explore how identity, mental health, and modern digital spaces shape our ability to form meaningful connections,” according to a press release.
The conversation focused on letting the uncomfortableness of loneliness help lead to a more creative and fulfilling life.
Kesha talked about how she used to be scared of her loneliness but now uses it as a strength by tapping into her artistic side and putting it into her music.
“I got so used to shutting that part of my brain (that processes emotions) off. It wasn’t up to me,” she said, “I’m so authentic for them (my fans) … the more free I am, the more permission they have to be free too.”
Bouncing off Kesha’s ideology, Vaid-Menon provided perspective on dealing with their fear of being alone. They said that with being alone, comes change.
“Change is so slow and so invisible,” Vaid-Menon said. “Often we only notice it on the other side. We have to perceive change as it’s happening, which is a lot of work.”
Vaid-Menon also emphasized the importance of authenticity in the rise of our digital communication-based world. To feel more connected to your true self, they recommended asking yourself, “how can I make a better choice to be a little bit more me?”
Minaa B. provided her expert knowledge on the topic, describing the three types of loneliness that a person may feel: emotional, social and familial.
Emotional loneliness is where people may struggle to find emotional depth in relationships and have a hard time being vulnerable with a group of peers. To counteract this, Minaa B. said, “You can’t hide and expect to be seen.”
Social loneliness is when friend groups might go their separate ways due to life events such as moving for a job, having children, getting married, etc. This can cause physical loneliness because those who were once nearby and the community are now gone.
Minaa B. recognized that family isn’t always a safe space for people to run to in times of need. Because of familial loneliness, some might even feel disconnected from their family. To combat this, she recommended finding your “third space.” This is a social environment away from home or work where you can be authentic.
The panelists concluded by offering their takeaways to the audience. The three focused on the importance of “finding your people,” and lifting up those in vulnerable spaces.
“I think you find your people by being your most authentic self … as much as you can bear,” Kesha said.
